"... if you have a million bucks and can't get laid this club will not help you."
Undeniably true, yer majesty. In fact, if a guy is worth a million dollars or more and can't get laid, it's worse than that - nothing is gonna help.
But, then again ...
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence