You're using the wrong charcoal then. That easy lite crap is just that ... crap. Good charcoal is tough to light - and I NEVER use 'lighter fluid'. That stuff (and charcoal pre-soaked in it) definitely WILL leave you feeling sick to your stomach.
Propane is more convenient -but REAL CHARCOAL is by far the best cooking for superior taste. Mesquite charcoal, (burns a tad fast - but great flavour), Hardwood charcoal is great - but expensive, never use a 'pine' based charcoal (too many volatiles - very bad taste) - throw on some hickory chips - makes for very good taste in the meats.
To start, use a vertical metal tube, with black&white newspaper wadded up in the bottom, put the charcoal on top, and light it from the bottom. Takes about 10 minutes to get the coals started, another 10 to get them burning thoroughly.
My dad made his own charcoal from mesquite for years. Always great eating. Mesquite around West Texas is easy to come by - farmers and ranchers really appreciate folks that will clear it out for them, and haul it off.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good ...