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Re: Voklavian Short short Story - Zim

By: Zimbler0 in POPE IV | Recommend this post (0)
Fri, 27 Oct 17 6:00 AM | 47 view(s)
Boardmark this board | POPES NEW and Improved Real Board 		Msg. 37539 of 47202
(This msg. is a reply to 37537 by monkeytrots)
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How about the way I first wrote it.

>>
Tril-Liana walked into the Admirals outer office. She was wearing a class-C uniform. Every day work, not the class-A dress uniform she should have been wearing to see an Admiral.
>>

Liana had been fired - meaning she was not supposed
to be wearing a uniform at all. If she had walked into
Fleet Command wearing a dress uniform she ran the risk
of being brigged for 'impersonating an officer'.
She could probably get away with the Class C uniform
with no rank pins or other accessories.

And then she was not expecting to get another command
anyway. She had decided in advance she was not going
to wear the dress uniform and she intended to be 'combative'.

(And I suspect it is poor story telling if I must
explain so many things . . sorry.)

Zim.




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The above is a reply to the following message:
Re: Voklavian Short short Story - Zim
By: monkeytrots in POPE IV
Fri, 27 Oct 17 5:32 AM 		Msg. 37537 of 47202

Well, let's just spell that insubordination out ... and not make the audience guess - after all we can't see her body language. *s*

change: Walking into the Admiral's outer office, Tril-Liana realizes she is in her class-C uniform, every day work clothes; not the class-A Dress appropriate for meeting an Admiral.

to: Walking into the Admiral's outer office in her Class-C every day work uniform, Tril-Lana knows the code calls for Class-A Dress when summoned by an Admiral. Breaking stride for a second, she mumbles to herself "(appropriate Voklavian euphemism for I really don't give a rats ass.)".

*w*

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