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Paul Ryan Says He Will Retire Once He Has Wrecked Country

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Wed, 03 Jan 18 12:36 AM | 90 view(s)
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Satire from The Borowitz Report
Paul Ryan Says He Will Retire Once He Has Wrecked Country

“Once I look around me and see nothing but smoldering ruins, I’ll call it a day,” the House Speaker said in an emotional press conference.

Asked by a reporter whether, by passing the Republican tax bill, he had not in fact already wrecked the country, the House Speaker responded, “That was an important step in the right direction, but, make no mistake, there is much havoc left to wreak.”

“There’s a lot of talk about the millions of people who will lose their health care, but no one one talks about the tens of millions who still have it,” he said. “That just shows how much work I still have to do.”

Speaking solemnly about the challenging path of destruction that lies ahead of him, Ryan said, “I have many lives to wreck before I sleep.”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/paul-ryan-says-he-will-retire-once-he-has-wrecked-country?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20010218&CNDID=50922740&spMailingID=12671217&spUserID=MjE2ODQ5ODE5NjA3S0&spJobID=1320145846&spReportId=MTMyMDE0NTg0NgS2




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