Offend??? Yer the Exalted King of Toad Suck, Georgia, ribit! If you were to broadcast such a TV commercial, there would be so much mass, estrogen-fueled hysteria ... unseen since the day when The Beatles arrived in America ... comin' straight for yer britches! Damn ... you'd need more than one raccoon in yer pants to fight 'em all off, don'tcha know!
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence