Ok, so I am being punished - AGAIN.
I told you about my sister-in-law who served us HOMEMADE MUFFINS, until I saw the Jiffy box in the garbage can. Oh yeah, she said, "well, can you eat them out of that box?" Point taken, Lynn.
So my brother and she move to Baltimore, as he got an offer at Johns Hopkins. The very first day that he starts work, she is home alone.
She was a little scared that morning; very scared by noon AND called an ambulance for herself by 3 pm. I said to her, "Are you kidding me? You called an ambulance for yourself?" NOBODY DOES THAT, LYNN.
She had some kind of panic attack, which was sort of a newbie word back then. I figured she had moved up the line a bit regarding idiocy. I very gently teased her for YEARS about people calling ambulances for themselves.
FINE. DAMMIT. I called an ambulance for myself this past Monday, but it was just about midnight. Technically I arrived on Tuesday. I just know I am going to get a gold star from my insurance company because I was trying to save them one night's charge.
If I'm lucky, this will only cost $20 grand a day. No shid about that.
Summary:
IV heparin
IV morphine
traction
It was a blood clot.
At least I got sent home with OPIODS and if "they" thought they had a crisis before, welp, THEY HAD BETTER GET READY, as I love pills.
They asked me everyday if I smoked pot. Gave 'em the same answer every time: no, but I AM GOING TO START.
Ok, I am supposed to get discharged today. Well, I am not leaving without lunch. It was 1:20 specific standard time. Geeeezzzzzzzz, we don't know where lunch is today! It is late - no shid, as (( I )) am waiting.
The nurse looks up what's on the menu.
YEP, BOILED HOT DOGS!
(I am kidding about that)
Do me a favor, precious gents: DO NOT LET EDGAR FROM THE CABLE COMPANY CONNECT YOUR NEW T.V. HE LEAVES THE OLD ONE ON THE FLOOR SO YOU CAN REALLY BANG INTO IT. WHAT A WASTE OF THE WORD, "BANG."
I am not allowed to sit in this chair. It cuts off the circulation to your leg, and in my case, to your brain, too. 
))
love you all - xoxo
To the only one that matters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSbqm7ZK_9s
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
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