- There isn't any iceberg
- It is a fake iceberg
- There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean
- People say it's the biggest iceberg
- it's a Democratic conspiracy iceberg
- The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon
- it's an "alternate news" iceberg
- I'll fire the iceberg as it's a total conspiracy and hoax iceberg
- There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg
- We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly
- I knew from the beginning there was an iceberg, long before people called it an iceberg
- The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
- Taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats
- Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them
- We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors
- Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats
- I really don't think we need that many lifeboats
- We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats
- The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship
- Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg
- I'm an expert on icebergs, I've got lots of friends, some of the best, really good ice people who know ice
- Summer will come and the iceberg will disappear, it will go away, like magic
- We aren't sinking, I'm an expert on sinking ships
- We aren't taking on water, I'm an expert on frozen water
- I'm an expert on ice and this iceberg doesn't have a lot of ice
- I'll save the Titanic because I can walk on water, heal the sick, and never tell any lies either
OCU
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