Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper.
Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little shits!!!
The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.
Cops these days will be like…come out with your hands washed!
Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!
And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.
Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.
I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!
With so many sporting events cancelled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship…It’s on Paperview.
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