I'd be happy to teach you.
AT FIRST, I WAS VERY FLATTERED. THAT DIDN'T LAST LONG!
First though, you have to go to an office supply store and pick up crayons and colored pencils.
I HAVE A VAST ARRAY OF COLORING MATERIALS - CRAYONS, COLORED PENCILS (VERY RACIST), MARKERS, PAINTS AND NOTEBOOKS OF ALL KINDS.
JUST GIVE ME A WEEK OR TWO TO PRACTICE.......
YANNO,IF I PRACTICE WITH MY COLORING BOOKS, WE SHOULD BE GOOD TO GO IN SHORT ORDER!
(YOU are a smart ass!)
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.