http://twitchy.com/brads-313037/2020/12/10/well-2020-receives-its-official-ice-cream-as-ben-jerrys-announces-it-will-create-a-colin-kaepernick-flavor/
As miserable as this year has been why not keep up the awfulness — there are still a few weeks left, after all.
Today came the announcement that the perpetually activist-minded ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s was partnering with the perpetually aggrieved former athlete Colin Kaepernick to create a new flavor label.
Ben & Jerry's ~ We’ve teamed up with @Kaepernick7! Introducing Change the Whirled Non-Dairy, the flavor that's supporting the fight to dismantle systems of oppression and empower Black and Brown people. Coming to freezers in 2021! ...
It is an all vegan, non-dairy frozen dessert — in other words, they are honoring a fake quarterback appropriately by creating a fake ice cream.
Upon the news of this unappetizing offering a few people have decided there could be far better versions created which would be more accurate Kaepernick-themed desserts.
Some of the entries that were submitted:
"Mint Shoulder Chip" ~ O Christmas G
"Pick Six Layer Cake" ~ Federalist Musket
"Take a Kneapolitan" ~ SavageInviteDeadPool
"Third String Crunch" ~ Surfacedog, Random Ankle-Breaker
"Blackberries Matter" ~ Bullwork Online! The Bulwark Commentary Site
"Anti Apple Pie" ~ Jolly Old Smirk
"Banana Republic" ~ The Bullwark
Kaepernick is a mooslim, right? How about a flavor that's sure to be a hit with the towelheads - "Goat's Ass Ripple"? Who knows ... Greeks like zzshart will probably be salivating over it, too.
The problem of course is the company might actually become inspired. There could end up being an entire line of washed-up ice cream flavors.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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