I got one of them loudspeaker thingy's like the protesting crowd uses at protests. Found it on the ground right beside a hippie dude in tie dyed clothes. Use it regularly.
ATTENTION ON DECK, ATTENTION ON DECK!
...there are men in the man room without coffee. I repeat, there are men in the man room without coffee. This is not a drill.
...it hasn't worked yet, but in time I got confidence that it will.