Msg. 29373 of 58634 (This msg. is a reply to
29368 by
Decomposed)
Jump:
great suggestions for a lawn sign.
On my street I would be preaching to the choir as we are blessed with a bunch of conservatives who live here. In fact, democrats control nothing in our entire county or township. They are a tiny minority.
The dem strongholds in Ohio are in Dayton dowtown area, Columbus inner city,downtown urban cincinnati, Cleveland as a whole, Akron and Springfield.
Everything else in between is pretty much red neck, leave me alone, I believe in the Constitution, the Flag, and God country.
Our traitorous governor seems to be half liberal and part conservative and who knows what else. He ran as a strong conservative.. He will be primaried... NO conservatives like him... None....
Liberals think they’re better than other people, so much so that they plant lawn signs in their front yards to illustrate that fact.
The sentiments on these signs range from outright lies, HATE HAS NO HOME HERE (say the Trump-haters), to tautological nonsense like LOVE IS LOVE and SCIENCE IS REAL.
Seems to me it’s high time for normal, hard-working, America-loving folks to start displaying some lawn signage of their own. The sentiments expressed on these signs should not signal virtue or moral superiority; their intent is merely to accurately reflect the real world, thereby by causing pointy liberal heads to explode. Since the American Left is so fond of vandalizing or destroying that with which they disagree, a large Doberman on a chain may be a necessary adjunct to such signs, depending upon where you live.
Liberal lawn signs often begin with the phrase, IN THIS HOUSE, WE BELIEVE. To that I say, whaddya mean “we”? Since when does everyone in a family share the same beliefs? Don’t any of these people have teenagers?
So, keep your lawn sign real and own it: IN MY HOUSE, I BELIEVE. A house, however filled with love and inclusivity as it may be, is not a democracy. The views on the lawn sign should be those of whoever is paying the mortgage. Dissenting members of the household will simply have to wait until they’ve bought their own home to share their views.
After establishing ownership of your home and your beliefs, start your conservative sign’s list of bromides with a bang:
That popping sound you hear all the way from the bathroom will be liberal craniums literally exploding on your front sidewalk as they imagine “assault rifles,” whatever they are, loaded with live ammo and being handled recklessly, like you’re Alec Baldwin or something. Meanwhile, the plain meaning of that phrase is that you always lock your doors and if it’s after five, you’re typically on your second or third martini. If would-be burglars, the ultimate believers in wealth re-distribution, also misunderstand I’M LOCKED AND LOADED, it’s a win-win.
After libs out for a neighborhood stroll get a load of that sentiment, you’ll need a fire hose to clean all the gray matter off your sidewalk. Mentioning God to leftists is like waving a crucifix in a vampire’s face: it inspires only hissing, anger and hatred. And the idea that God created only man and woman will come as unwelcome news to folks who believe there are actually 2,742 genders (at last count).
Now folks suffering from dwarfism like to be called “little people” and should certainly be treated with respect. But wee Tony Fauci is a liar and a conniver, your classic liberal bureaucrat who pretends to care about the public while pursuing policies that succeeded only in lining the pockets of Democrats and their favored constituencies. Therefore, it’s perfectly fine to call Dr. Fauci an evil dwarf. The man deserves no respect.
Next up, go full Zen on the climate-change cult with:
Claiming that the sky is falling is an age-old trick for manipulating the naïve, the neurotic, the intellectually challenged, and of course, liberals. If mankind is, in fact, ruining the environment, scientific breakthroughs will have to save us, not self-interested, power-hungry globalists. Until then, the weather is what it is. Deal with it.
When they read that, your typical liberal will want to jail you! Still, the old adage applies: If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. And if a prospective criminal can’t figure that one out, another truism applies: You can’t fix stupid. If you could, Democrats wouldn’t be dissing cops, reducing bail and emptying the jails, and then wondering why there’s a crime wave.
All good exposition should start and end with a bang. So, finish up your list of slogans with an ineluctable truth:
The Donald was right about so many things, the economy, the fake-news media, the D.C. Swamp and the Clinton Crime Family. He said Hillary, Obama, the CIA and the FBI were all trying to take him down, and they were. Trump said the last presidential election was riddled with fraud but the courts and the GOP leadership were too gutless to investigate it, and they were. Trump claimed that the Chinese communists were not our friends, they were liars and cheaters looking to dominate us by any means necessary. As we can see from China’s stonewalling about the origin of the Wuhan Flu, Trump was once again right on the money.
In retrospect, even though all of those sentiments ring true and are quite useful in the real world, perhaps every Conservative lawn sign should come with a Doberman or two, and twenty-foot of strong chain.
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