Yeah ... now, THAT would be funny ... and appropriate.
ATTENTION: The production of The Bachelorette has been discontinued until further notice due to a very nasty, raging case of The Clap. Also, please do NOT enter The Fantasy Suite until the HAZMAT team has had a chance to properly sterilize the entire room. Thank you for your cooperation.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence