Picking up girls isn't something that you have to do in person, you know. Why do you think Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone? Just so you could call out for a pizza?
First, if you are a pig yourself, you can hide it from the girl until you actually meet her. Second, you can call girls of any type, at any time, at any place. You can call girls at random. You can call girls at work. You can call pretty girls. You can call willing girls.
You can call big-breasted girls with silken soft skin and perfect smiles.
You can call girls with long luscious legs and round, tender tushies.
You can call girls who speak French, and girls who just whisper.
You can call girls who will marry you, girls who will date you, or girls who will blind you with lingerie and gently flog you with their hair.
The universe is great, your choices are limitless, and destiny awaits you.
So how come you still don't have a date for Saturday night?
Maybe you're using the wrong technique.
Here are five ways you should never begin a telephone conversation with a girl who is a stranger to you.
1. Guess what I'm holding in my hand.
2. Um, ah, er, (gulp), um, uh, er, ah, um ...
3. Well, baby (honey, sweetie, mama, cutie, sugar, ass-face) this is going to be your lucky day.
4. (Belllch!)
5. I have a fire in my loins.
Things will turn out better for you if you use the right technique. Here are five examples of the right technique. They always work. Sometimes.
1. Guess what I'm holding in both of my hands?
2. You don't know me and I don't know you but who among us can say that he truly knows any other human being. We are such complex entities, don't you agree? And aren't we all, to some extent, strangers passing through this mysterious void, bound for some other destination, for some other, more perfect world? So why don't I pick up a six-pack and drop over? Perhaps you are my real destination.
3. My name is Bob, and I just won your phone number in a gin game.
4. They've made me the king of the gypsies, and I need a date for my coronation.
5. My Bentley broke down in front of your apartment, and I was wondering if I could come up and get a drink of water for my chauffeur.
Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months
It is important when you are trying to pick up a girl to make a good first impression. You can do this by dressing neatly, brushing your teeth three times a day, and letting her know that you have the sexual tools of a god.
You can also do this by being witty.
But don't be too witty for your own good. It can backfire on you.
1. Other girls with mustaches aren't usually as comfortable in public as you seem to be.
2. Those of the greatest falsies I've ever seen.
3. Excuse me. I have a bad cold. Would you mind if I blew my nose in your cocktail napkin?
4. You look like you could use a good orgasm.
5. I'd ask you to dance, but the sweat marks would probably ruin your blouse.
6. I can make you very happy with my tongue.
Now, here are some examples of real wit. You will like them. So will she.
1. You'll never guess where I'm hiding my pet trout.
2. How do you do. My name is Harold. I'm 31 years old, and I'm a lawyer. I make a comfortable living and I own a luxury car but not my own home. I have never been married but I've been engaged twice. I don't know what my sign is because I think astrology is for idiots. In a moment I will buy you a drink, and we will make small talk for the rest of the evening. I will get your phone number and call you for a date. We will both have a good time. On our third date we will sleep together. Eventually, we will be married, have a house, two luxury cars, and vacations in Europe. Then we'll have children. You'll let yourself go, I'll start seeing other women, you'll find out and cry. Then you'll throw me out. I'll come crawling back for forgiveness. We'll both be miserable. Listen, for the sake of the children, isn't there some way we can work this thing out?
3. Excuse me, are you the one my broker sent with the dividend check?
4. Isn't it funny how times change? Four thousand years ago, by merely giving the bartender an ox, I could have owned you. Today, by merely smiling, you can own me.
5. I have a boo-boo on my finger. Would you help me take it out?
6. My friend said I couldn't start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Will you help me prove that he was wrong?
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