Suppose you have managed to pick up a girl. Here are ten things you should never say to her on your first date, unless you also want it to be your last date. If you want it to be a last date, these are wonderful things to say.
Never say: 1. Do you take credit cards?
2. Try not to embarrass me in the restaurant, okay?
3. I can tell that you want me.
4. That dress is the wrong color for you. It makes you look like a loaf of rye bread.
5. Let's go to my house and practice making my bed.
6. Well, you're not going to win any beauty contests.
7. It's about this rash on my groin...
8. Be a sport. Try to undo my belt with your teeth.
9. You have great legs. They remind me of Popeye.
10. Hey, I'm not ashamed of my blackheads, either.
Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months
Picking up girls isn't something that you have to do in person, you know. Why do you think Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone? Just so you could call out for a pizza?
First, if you are a pig yourself, you can hide it from the girl until you actually meet her. Second, you can call girls of any type, at any time, at any place. You can call girls at random. You can call girls at work. You can call pretty girls. You can call willing girls.
You can call big-breasted girls with silken soft skin and perfect smiles.
You can call girls with long luscious legs and round, tender tushies.
You can call girls who speak French, and girls who just whisper.
You can call girls who will marry you, girls who will date you, or girls who will blind you with lingerie and gently flog you with their hair.
The universe is great, your choices are limitless, and destiny awaits you.
So how come you still don't have a date for Saturday night?
Maybe you're using the wrong technique.
Here are five ways you should never begin a telephone conversation with a girl who is a stranger to you.
1. Guess what I'm holding in my hand.
2. Um, ah, er, (gulp), um, uh, er, ah, um ...
3. Well, baby (honey, sweetie, mama, cutie, sugar, ass-face) this is going to be your lucky day.
4. (Belllch!)
5. I have a fire in my loins.
Things will turn out better for you if you use the right technique. Here are five examples of the right technique. They always work. Sometimes.
1. Guess what I'm holding in both of my hands?
2. You don't know me and I don't know you but who among us can say that he truly knows any other human being. We are such complex entities, don't you agree? And aren't we all, to some extent, strangers passing through this mysterious void, bound for some other destination, for some other, more perfect world? So why don't I pick up a six-pack and drop over? Perhaps you are my real destination.
3. My name is Bob, and I just won your phone number in a gin game.
4. They've made me the king of the gypsies, and I need a date for my coronation.
5. My Bentley broke down in front of your apartment, and I was wondering if I could come up and get a drink of water for my chauffeur.
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