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Re: How to Pick Up Girls
Ch 6 - WHERE TO FIND GIRLS 

By: Decomposed in 6TH POPE | Recommend this post (2)
Sun, 08 May 22 4:25 PM | 34 view(s)
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Msg. 31816 of 58680
(This msg. is a reply to 31815 by Decomposed)

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THE EIGHT BEST PLACES TO MEET GIRLS

If you want to pick up a girl, you have to go where girls are.

Where Are Girls?
Girls are everywhere.

How Can I Be Sure They'll Still Be There When I Arrive ?
Just before you leave your house, lean out the window and shout, "Don't move girls. Here I come!"

Everywhere is a big place. Where Shall I Look First ?
1. Look first in places where you are likely to get a good reception. Like in a women's prison.
2. Or in a special institution for incurable nymphomaniacs.
3. Or at Beldin's Bar & Grill.

What If I Want to Meet a Certain Kind of Girl ?
4. Go where those kinds of girls go. For example, if you want to meet a rich girl, wait outside of a divorce court.
5. If you want to meet a beautiful girl, wait outside of a plastic surgeon's office.
6. If you want to meet a rich and beautiful girl, wait outside of a divorce court for a girl who has just divorced a plastic surgeon.

What If I Only Want to Gratify Certain Physical Needs ?
7. What physical needs are you talking about? If you need a back rub, go where women chiropractors go.
8. If you need a front rub, go where uninhibited female chiropractors go.
9. If you want to get your socks blown off, go where stewardesses, nurses, and coeds go.




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Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months


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Re: How to Pick Up Girls
Ch 5 - GETTING A GOODNIGHT KISS
By: Decomposed
in 6TH POPE
Sun, 08 May 22 3:56 PM
Msg. 31815 of 58680

HOW TO GET A GOOD NIGHT KISS ON THE FIRST DATE

Getting a good night kiss on the first date is important.
Because on the next date, you can skip the preliminaries and get right down to heavy fondling.
But there is more to getting a kiss than just puckering up and closing your eyes. You have to make the girl: 1. Want to kiss you; 2. Feel obliged to kiss you; 3. Have no other alternative but to kiss you.
How do you do this? It's easy.

How to Make the Girl Want to Kiss You

There are many ways to make the girl want to kiss you. You may have your own favorite ways. (But then, why are you reading this?) Here are some of mine.

1. Convince the girl that you are rich.
2. Convince the girl that you are leaving tomorrow for World War II.
3. Trick the girl into thinking you're a nice guy.
4. Trick the girl into thinking that you know a rock star.
5. Trick the girl into thinking that you are a rock star.
6. Tuck a $20 bill into the girl's cleavage (does not always work). Check first for cleavage.
7. Show the girl your poo-poo. (Let me know if this works.)

How to Make the Girl Feel Obliged to Kiss You

There are many ways to make the girl feel obliged to kiss you. Some of them involve the use of braces and bandages and body casts. Some of them don't. Here are some that don't.

1. Take the girl out and spend a lot of money on her. Then, at the end of the evening say, "Hey, I spent a lot of money on you." Keep all receipts.
2. Tell the girl you have been in prison for 10 years and have been dreaming of this moment since the day they first sent you up.
3. Say to her, "Don't you think I have feelings? "
4. Say to her, "I had such a nice time. God bless you."
5. Say to her, "I hope I haven't been a burden to you tonight, but this is the anniversary of my dog's death, and I'm awful lonely without Skipper."
6. Spend so much money on her that you go into debt. Then, at the end of the evening say, "Hey, I spent so much money on you tonight that I had to go into debt."
7. Take off your shirt and show her where you had her name tattooed across your chest.

How to Give a Girl No Other Alternative

Let's assume that none of this stuff works for you. You can always do what men do best: resort to brute force and/or flimsy deception. Here are some ways you can make a girl kiss you goodnight.

1. Get her to lean her head out of the car, roll the window up so she's trapped, then race around and kiss her before she passes out.
2. Get her to face you, then tie her hair around the back of your head.
3. Get her in a headlock and give her a Dutch rub until she agrees to come across.
4. Pull the pin on a teargas grenade, then get her to share your gas mask.
5. Tell her that if she kisses you, you won't ever ask her out again.


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