Suppose some night you are feeling tough.
Suppose some night you feel like kicking butt.
Suppose some night you want to find someone who will kick butt with you, who will stand back-to-back with you, take on all comers and cleaning out bars and fighting sailors and Marines and stevedors. And then who, later on, will stand front-to-front with you, taking you on, if you catch my drift.
What you need, my friend, is to get yourself a violent girl.
You are probably asking yourself, "Where am I going to find a violent girl? I thought they were all in homes, or worked as vice presidents of marketing."
That's not true. Violent girls are everywhere. You just have to know how to identify them.
How to Identify Violent Girls You can tell if a girl is a violent girl if:
1. You ask her where the restrooms are and she shows you by throwing a knife into the restroom door.
2. You ask her who the hostess is and she shows you by throwing a knife into the hostess.
3. You ask her if she wants some dip, and she replies, "No, I've got Harold," and backhands her date across the room.
4. The waiter forgets her drink, and she decides to "teach him a lesson"by spot-welding his penis to the jukebox.
5. When they see her coming, policemen move to the other side of the street.
It is not enough however to be able to tell who violent girls are. You also have to be able to get their attention.
How to Get a Violent Girl's Attention Violent girls like it when you do things that are bigger-than-life, that are a little meaner, a little tougher, a little more insensitive than your run-of-the-mill guy would do. Violent girls know that: 1. Anyone can crush a beer can in one hand. What turns violent girls on is when you crush a Scotch bottle in one hand.
2. Anyone can put out a cigarette by mashing it against his forehead. What turns violent girls on is when you put out a wood-burning stove by mashing it against your forehead.
3. Anyone can swallow a goldfish. What turns violent girls on is when you swallow a bartender (pinning back his ears and putting butter on his forehead is optional.)
4. Anyone can open a beer bottle by using his teeth. What turns violent girls on is when you open a brewery by using your teeth.
5. Anyone can throw peanuts up in the air and catch them in his mouth. What turns violent girls on is when you throw waitresses up in the air and catch them in your mouth.
Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months
Aggressive girls can be exciting too.
There are many questions you can have fun answering with an aggressive girl. Am I stronger than she is? Is public humiliation really important to her, or is it just a hobby? Can we both be on top at the same time?
Aggressive girls are not always what they seem. Frequently, in the privacy of their own homes, they are even more obnoxious. (Sounds like the dominatrix of Pffart4 if you ask me... - De)
But, hey, maybe public humiliation is really important to you.
You might believe that just because a girl is aggressive, you can do or say anything at all and she will still agree to continue the argument in a motel.
This is not true. There are some things even aggressive girls do not like.
What Aggressive Girls Do Not Like.
1. Aggressive girls do not like it if you try to get their attention by snapping their bra straps.
2. Aggressive girls do not like it when you put a glass eye in their drink.
3. Aggressive girls hate it when you sprinkle them with chest hair.
4. Aggressive girls really hate it when you tell them, "It's always hard, so whenever you're ready..."
5. Aggressive girls can't stand it when you chuck them under the chin and say, "Koochie-koochie coo."
6. Aggressive girls go ape when you try to introduce yourself by blowing up their nose. So how can you make a good impression on an aggressive girl? Simple. Do what aggressive girls like.
What Aggressive Girls Like
1. Aggressive girls like it when you take a last drag on your cigarette, leaning casually across the bar, and stub the butt out on their foreheads.
2. Aggressive girls like it when you introduce yourself by playing the Flight of the Bumblebee on your armpit.
3. Aggressive girls really respond when you ask them to be partners with you in a tag team wrestling match, then invite them to your apartment to look at your trunks.
4. Aggressive girls sometimes lose control when you eat the buttons from their blouses.
5. Aggressive girls really want to get to know you if you walk into a bar dragging a blazing fire and a bottle of chilled champagne.
6. Aggressive girls always get hot when you get down on your hands and knees and bay at their breasts.
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