It is easy to spot weird girls.
If you're in a bar and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone lapping beer from a knapsack were standing on a table and reciting Chaucer in pig-Latin.
If you are at a party and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone having a picture of an Eskimo pie tattooed onto her tongue or leading a cleavage growing race.
If you are walking the streets and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone with her clothes on backwards or trying to look into her mouth without a mirror. Like bad checks and doggie poop, weird girls are everywhere.
It is not especially difficult to meet a weird girl, unless you are not on her wavelength.
How to Determine If You Are On A Weird Girl's Wavelength it is easy to determine if you are on a weird girl's wavelength. Just ask her one of the Four Standard Questions. You have a problem if she answers, "Huh?" You are golden if she answers, "Oh wow." Just ask her:
1. I am an alien. Would you like to see my spaceship?
2. I know that you are an alien. Can I see your spaceship?
3. Want to look for an alien and get into his spaceship ?
4. Would you like to smoke my Toyota?
Once you lock into a weird girl's wavelength, you've got to get her interested in you. You've got to make her want to come home with you. You can do this by:
1. Gently taking her head into your mouth.
2. Telling her, "I live inside a tuna fish."
3. Double-bagging her breasts.
4. Telling her, "I work as a hood ornament."
5. Point to her loins, then pointing to your loins, then making a motion like a fish flopping on a beach.
6. Telling her, "This is my last night ashore. Later I'm leaving for Uranus. Come with me."
Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months
HOW TO PICK UP DRUNK GIRLS
The wonderful thing about drunk girls is that they will believe anything you tell them.
You can tell them, "The earth is made of beef jerky," and they will believe you.
You can tell them, "I am the heir to the throne of all the Russias," and they will believe you.
You can tell them, "I am not really ugly. This is only a mask," and they will believe you.
The only real trick to picking up drunk girls is not doing what offends them.
What Offends Drunk Girls You really have to go to extremes to offend drunk girls. And the more drunk a girl is, the more extreme you have to be. Nothing is certain, of course, but there is a pretty good chance that you will offend a drunk girl if you do any of the following things. So if you want to pick up a drunk girl, never:
1. Complain that the music is too loud, then try to plug your ears with her breasts.
2. Tell her that she reminds you of your ex-wife, "Rhinoceros-face."
3. Hold up a bar of soap and say, "I'd like to introduce you to something you probably never tried before."
4. Tell her you love her because you've got a thing for girls with enormous feet.
5. Say you have an uncontrollable urge to be with her because you're having a fat attack.
Likewise, there are certain things which you can do which will enhance your chances of picking up drunk girls. You just have to know what drunk girls like.
What Drunk Girls Like Erunk girls like to be dazzled by wit. They like to be flattered unmercifully, and they like to be engaged in inane conversation. So, the next time you want to pick up a drunk girl, walk up to her and say...
1. "Tonight we have a date with destiny, tomorrow we have a date with fate, the day after that I have to be out of town, but when I get back we have a date with history."
2. "Hey, what a terrific body. It reminds me of a beautiful automobile; great wheels, luxurious padding, spectacular headlights. Mind if I take it out for a spin?"
3. "If you're not doing anything later on, maybe we could go back to my place and name your breasts."
4. "I found this tongue lying on the floor. Is it yours? "
5. "You're a dirty person. I can tell."
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