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Re: How to Pick Up Girls
Ch 15 -NAKED GIRLS 

By: Decomposed in 6TH POPE | Recommend this post (1)
Thu, 12 May 22 3:52 AM | 26 view(s)
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Msg. 31918 of 58723
(This msg. is a reply to 31917 by Decomposed)

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HOW TO PICK UP NAKED GIRLS

there are two kinds of naked girls: ones who are hot-to-trot, and once who are not.
You-find-the-ones-who-are-hot-to-trot writhing on blankets under full summer moons, were whispering fiscally to you from deep within dark and scented bedrooms. They are usually wild with desire and driven by the strong perfume of your presence.
Your first inclination is to jump on naked girls who are hot-to-trot, and their first inclination is to let you.
The ones who are not you usually find by accident (wives notwithstanding) in mistakenly entered doctors'offices, hotel rooms, dressing rooms, bathhouses and sleeping compartments on trains. They are usually not wild with desire and are aghast At your presence.
Your first inclination is to jump on not-hot-to-trot girls, and their first inclination is to bury their foot in your groin.
What you need to know is how to bring not-hot-to-trot girls around.

How to Bring Not-Hot-to-Trot Naked Girls Around
the first step in bringing a not-hot-to-trot naked girl around is to show her she has nothing to fear from you. You can do this by:
1. Giving her a lump of sugar and stroking her withers.
2. Saying, "skews me, I'm blind. Is this where I get off for Albuquerque?"
3. Showing her your vaccination.
4. Fetching a stick for her.
5. Holding her leg gently in your mouth so as not to break the skin with your teeth.

When the girl sees she has nothing to fear from you, you can go on to the next step.

The Next Step
the next step in bringing a not-hot-to-trot naked girl around is to get her excited. One of three things usually works:
1. Saying, "Hey, it's only fair. I've seen you naked; now it's your turn to see me," and taking off your pants.
2. Giving her a neutron hickey (it destroys her will to resist but doesn't do any damage to the room).
3. Turning around and leaving.




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Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months


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The above is a reply to the following message:
Re: How to Pick Up Girls
Ch 14 - WEIRD GIRLS
By: Decomposed
in 6TH POPE
Thu, 12 May 22 3:38 AM
Msg. 31917 of 58723

HOW TO PICK UP WEIRD GIRLS

It is easy to spot weird girls.
If you're in a bar and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone lapping beer from a knapsack were standing on a table and reciting Chaucer in pig-Latin.
If you are at a party and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone having a picture of an Eskimo pie tattooed onto her tongue or leading a cleavage growing race.
If you are walking the streets and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone with her clothes on backwards or trying to look into her mouth without a mirror. Like bad checks and doggie poop, weird girls are everywhere.
It is not especially difficult to meet a weird girl, unless you are not on her wavelength.

How to Determine If You Are On A Weird Girl's Wavelength
it is easy to determine if you are on a weird girl's wavelength. Just ask her one of the Four Standard Questions. You have a problem if she answers, "Huh?" You are golden if she answers, "Oh wow." Just ask her:
1. I am an alien. Would you like to see my spaceship?
2. I know that you are an alien. Can I see your spaceship?
3. Want to look for an alien and get into his spaceship ?
4. Would you like to smoke my Toyota?

Once you lock into a weird girl's wavelength, you've got to get her interested in you. You've got to make her want to come home with you. You can do this by:
1. Gently taking her head into your mouth.
2. Telling her, "I live inside a tuna fish."
3. Double-bagging her breasts.
4. Telling her, "I work as a hood ornament."
5. Point to her loins, then pointing to your loins, then making a motion like a fish flopping on a beach.
6. Telling her, "This is my last night ashore. Later I'm leaving for Uranus. Come with me."



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