http://twitchy.com/gregp-3534/2022/06/17/cdc-issues-guidelines-for-safer-sex-if-youre-infected-with-monkeypox/
Wow ... the CDC truly has WAY too much spare time on their hands! Hey ... if you CDC morons are truly concerned, why don't you just cut to the chase and issue the following truthful statement:
1. Monkeypox is spreading because homosexuals can't manage to keep their diseased peckers in their pants.
2. Homosexuality is a dirty, nasty, perverse, diseased, and disgusting act - quit engaging in this destructive, unhealthy behavior and start leading a normal, responsible, and acceptable lifestyle.
No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.
The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”
Dr. David Samadi (@drdavidsamadi) ~ The CDC has new guidelines for sex with Monkeypox.
They include:
- having sex with no in-person contact.
- Masturbating together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching any rash or sores.
- having sex with clothes on or covering areas where sores are present.
Our health experts at work!
Liz Wolfe (@lizzywol) ~ CDC guidelines are the gift that keeps on giving. "Have virtual sex," they advise. Masturbate, but with social distancing!
Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:
How can a person lower their risk during sex?
Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.
If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.
If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:
* Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.
* Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.
* Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.
* Avoid kissing.
* Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex
* Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.
Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?
Fauci-approved science, eh?
Eric Feigl-Ding (@DrEricDing) ~ Also, I don’t really understand the logic of saying “masturbating 6 feet apart,” while also suggesting sex with clothes on. Huh??? Dear @CDCgov staffer who wrote this — is this some prank today? Blink twice or retweet if it is.
Also, the CDC's cartoon is completely representative of heterosexual relations, which is total bullsh!t in regard to monkeypox. Not that heterosexual relations cannot transmit monkeypox, but they know damn well that this outbreak is absolutely due to randy, diseased fags who can't keep it in their pants - period.
Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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