Mz Ribit has a set of instructions for me when in public as well.
1. Check your Zipper
2. Don't pick your nose
3. Don't scratch your arse nor ballz
4. Don't Fart
5. Don't try to look up or down anybody's dress.
I have the most trouble with rule 5
Liberals are like a "Slinky". Totally useless, but somehow ya can't help but smile when you see one tumble down a flight of stairs!