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This is funny ...

By: Beldin in 6TH POPE | Recommend this post (0)
Tue, 11 Oct 22 10:08 PM | 23 view(s)
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Proud gold-digger’s essay about her fabulous life weirdly doesn’t mention what she likes to do with severed pigs’ heads

http://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2022/10/11/proud-gold-diggers-essay-about-her-fabulous-life-weirdly-doesnt-mention-what-she-likes-to-do-with-severed-pigs-heads/

Insider recently published a delightful as-told-to essay by a woman named Amber Lucas, who, after a great deal of research and dedication, has discovered a great way to see the world and learn a lot about herself in the process:

Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ Amber Lucas spent a lot of last year reevaluating her life.

The most important thing she had to change was the type of guys she dated. She said most of them were emotionally immature and financially irresponsible. ⬇️
http://insider.com/dating-website-seeking-successful-men-travel-luxury-vacation-2022-10
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Apparently Amber had to kiss quite a few frogs before she finally started catching princes:

Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ She’d bail them out. She said one guy wanted money because he couldn't make rent, as he'd spend his whole salary on weed.

Another guy left his rusty, old car at her home for three weeks. He used Lucas's AAA insurance to have it towed.
http://www.insider.com/dating-website-seeking-successful-men-travel-luxury-vacation-2022-10

Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ Those experiences made Lucas want to meet more stable men. She wanted to "date up."

A friend told her about the dating website @seeking. It specializes in matching "successful" and "attractive" people. She joined in August 2021.
http://www.insider.com/guides/health/sex-relationships/how-to-start-a-conversation-on-a-dating-app

"Successful and attractive" ... so, given that we have all seen your photo, Amber, just exactly WHAT are you bringing to the table, eh?! Woof! 

And from that moment, her life would never be the same.

Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ Lucas talked to a few guys on the site. They were mostly in their 50s.

She met one, who lived in her home city of San Francisco. He brought his dog to the date, which she said she thought was sweet. But they didn't really see each other again.

Ah, that guy decided that his pooch was better lookin' than you, sooooooo ... sayonara, Amber! 

Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ In the fall, Lucas dated an international businessman. He was 53, about 14 years older than her.

They’d been on several dates when Lucas told him that she was going on a trip to France. "Do you want to visit me?" she asked, somewhat jokingly.
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Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ Lucas lived in Paris for three months. He came to visit, usually when he was on a business trip in Europe. They’d visit places like the vineyards of the Loire Valley.

He took Lucas to London and bought her her first Chanel bag. It cost about $11,000.
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Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ She said they had some great talks about business. He gave Lucas advice and refined her business idea.

In April, they came to a fork in the road. They broke up. It was "right person, wrong time," Lucas said. They parted as friends.
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Yeah, after he wore out all of your orifices, he decided to move on. We get it. 

Fortunately, Amber was able to rebound. Several times.

"Rebound" ... BWHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! 

Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ Lucas dated some more guys on Seeking who she said were smart and interesting. But she connected with a man who lived in the Bay Area, too. He was in his mid-50s.
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Digital Culture Insider (@InternetInsider) ~ Lucas said she worried that people who were super successful would be intimidating. But she had a peek behind the curtain and found that they get lonely and want company, just like everyone else.

Read the full story from @JaneRidleyNY on @thisisinsider.

It’s nice that Amber found her niche in society as an unapologetic gold-digger who’s willing to potentially risk becoming a sex slave or murder victim if she can get a Birkin out of the deal. Not everyone is able to figure out their life’s real purpose while they’re still relatively young, let alone at any age.

"Unapologetic gold-digger"? You mean "unapologetic hooker," don'tcha? 

Anyway, “unapologetic gold-digger” is actually a step up from how Amber usually spent her time, which was as a violent and unhinged left-wing rioter:

Chimpanzeeve (@doubleohdev) ~ {Replying to @InternetInsider} Is this her also? 🧐
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Andy Ngô (@MrAndyNgo) ~ Amber Lucas, 35, is charged w/felony vandalism & conspiracy over her alleged involvement in the intimidation of a Chauvin trial witness where #antifa left blood & a severed pig's head at a home. Lucas is a wine influencer & serves on Sonoma County Commission. #BLM
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Oh hi, Amber. We almost didn’t recognize you.

Did one of Amber’s wealthy sugar daddies bail her out?

jimtreacher.substack.com (@jtLOL) ~ I read this whole thing, and not once does she mention that she was arrested for vandalizing a house with a pig's head and blood because she thought the house belonged to a defense witness in the Derek Chauvin trial.

So weird that she left that out of her essay. It’s way more interesting than the jet-setting-Pretty-Woman stuff. Any lady can be a gold-digger, but it takes a very special kind of gal to get creative with a severed head.

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me vide (@RonEschaton) ~ {Replying to @jtLOL} Oh sure Jim, like you've never vandalized a house with a pig's head and blood.

Heh.

Anyway, we’ll wrap this up with a piece of advice for all the wealthy guys out there who match with Amber Lucas on dating apps:

jimtreacher.substack.com (@jtLOL) ~ Look out, rich guys: When she promises to give you head ...

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The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence




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