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Re: I am having some depressive thoughts 

By: Fiz in 6TH POPE | Recommend this post (1)
Mon, 29 May 23 2:02 PM | 33 view(s)
Boardmark this board | 6th Edition Pope Board 		Msg. 42975 of 60008
(This msg. is a reply to 42973 by micro)
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Hi Micro,

I got my death sentence early. I had no reason to believe I would survive past forty, and I almost didn't. I absolutely never expected to make it to the age I am now. And to still be relatively intact.

A death sentence can make certain things very clear. And with that clarity, and the realization that you have little to lose, you have the possibility to turn away from an ordinary life of social pressure and least resistance.

More practically, what do I hope I would do if I was in your shoes? (1) Set my sights on one or more "impossible" goals in alignment with the fact that I am still alive and, thus, must still have a purpose (2) Use prayer, diet (e.g., maybe http://www.pritikin.com/healthiest-diet/pritikin-eating-plan), visualization, belief change, (http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/mans-search-meaning and "alternative medicine" to give me the time and energy to move toward #1. (Consider Victor Frankel's "Mans Search For Meaning" reality, and how it was rather more depressing, and impossible, than anything you or I have to face.)

The point? Not to live forever, but to serve a higher purpose as much, and as long, as possible. To turn odds in your favor and, at the very least, to live your remaining time with fire in your heart.

If that doesn't appeal, or isn't possible, I would alternatively suggest you at least arrange your life to support what gives you the most joy/satisfaction during your remaining years. For myself, I found that skipping winter entirely, by moving to a tropical location, might not have given me any more years of life, but it did add at least 4-5 months of sunlight to my year. It was like I had 40% more year in my year!

You're going to have to find your own way, of course. But I heartily propose you minimize doing meaningless stuff, feed your health when you can, and not feed the depression. Easier said than done. I know.


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The above is a reply to the following message:
I am having some depressive thoughts
By: micro in 6TH POPE
Mon, 29 May 23 1:16 PM 		Msg. 42973 of 60008

I find myself after doing research on my heart condition and diagnosis from the Cardiology team, including the surgeon who operated on me, and my cardiologist I see regularly now, kind of getting mildly depressed.

I don't know if this is normal or not but for me it is unusual as very little ever weights heavily on my mind.

I have lost over 50 pounds since last October, the remianing thirty coming with the blessing of having gotten Hepatitus E strain in Cleveland and being the sickest I have ever been in my life. I could not eat food because my mind would reject even the smell of it when I tried to eat what my dear wife made and brought to me.. She tried everything and I could not bring myself to put anything into my mouth, though I tried.

That's how you lose a lot of weight. It ain't fun and noot recommended but in my case, its how I lost that round thing in front of me.

Grateful for that and excellent doctors who found out that my Liver was being attacked by that virus also and was one fourth non functioning when they discovered it.

So I Have a Liver Specialist now who has managed to help get that restored to normal and monitors the vital readings of that major organ with blood tests every month.

But the heart diagnosis is weighing on me as I have researched the Cleveland Clinic Heart Clinic about what that diagnosis means, and several other Medical Heart specialists for what does Congestive Heart Failure actually mean.

The average lifespan of a person who has come down with that condition on average lives ten years. The latter half are not very good. Lots of problems as the heart muscle continues to decline.

I never envisioned myself as having a heart problem that would be terminal. Oh, you could possibly have a heart transplant but by then I will be 80 years old plus. Almost as old as Ribs is now! lol!!

I do not believe any heart group is going to give someone that age a heart transplant as opposed to someone younger.

SO, I guess what bothers me is I have a limited, finite amount of time left on earth that is not caused by old age or some debilitating condition.

It just weighs on me that the average person with this diagnosis life span is about ten years.

My family has a history of longevity on the male side well into their nineties. I won't be among them.

Because of this, it just bothers me. Its on my mind a lot.

I need to shake it but it is difficult.

So, that is kinda my mental state these days and I wish it were not..

This board however does make me laugh at times and is informative.. A great combination.

See you all later!

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