'Nekkid as a Jaybird': Alabama Man Arrested After Cannonball Into Bass Pro Shop Aquarium
http://twitchy.com/laura-w/2024/01/06/nekkid-as-a-jaybird-alabama-man-arrested-after-cannonball-into-bass-pro-shop-aquarium-n2391439
As a resident of Alabama, this writer felt it was absolutely necessary to be the one to bring this story to you, our dear Twitchy readers. Bama Man has really stepped up his game in the rivalry with Florida Man as to which can be the most ridiculous man in the South. Just this past Thursday, January 4, 2024, a man crashed his car outside of the Bass Pro Shop store in Leeds, AL. He then proceeded to strip down, butt naked, and cannonball into the giant fish tank inside, to the shock and amusement of shoppers. He then managed to knock himself unconscious.
We cannot make this stuff up, y'all.
Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) ~ Alabama man strips buck naked, cannonballs into Bass Pro Shop aquarium, knocks himself unconscious.
http://notthebee.com/article/a-man-stripped-butt-naked-and-did-a-cannonball-into-a-bass-pro-shop-aquarium-in-alabama-and-knocked-himself-unconscious
Other X users shared the video of the incident, but it has not been properly censored/blurred so you'll just have to look it up for yourselves, if you dare. Let's dive right in, shall we?
Via GIPHY:
Police Chief Paul Irwin said the incident happened 'about near closing time,' and for the record, 'about near' is a standard unit of time here in Alabama.
As police approached the man, he attempted to climb out of the tank ON THE GLASS SIDE, and fell to the concrete, successfully knocking himself out like a light.
The man is identified as George Owens of Sterrett, AL and he is charged with public lewdness, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer, two counts of first-degree criminal mischief and two counts of reckless endangerment.
Naturally, X users had a lot to say about this incident.
JBH (@jbhchilipepper) ~ Just an editorial note: I think in the south it’s “butt nekked.” 🤣
This writer can confirm that that is the official technical term.
Hopalong Ginsberg (@HopalongAsks) ~ “Nude” is unclothed. “Naked” is unclothed and looking for trouble. “Nekkid” means you found it.
YourDrillSargeant (@ThunderInvest) ~ Some heroes don’t wear anything!
eCharmony (@eCharmony) ~ The SEC Transfer portal is what we all thought it is.
Now, gosh darnit, no one was ever supposed to find out about that!
Ahhhhhhh ... so this is gonna be da startin' quarterback for da Georgia Bulldawgies, next year, eh?
The Spanish In-Phil-sition (@SinCityFC) ~ If you ever skinny dipped in the aquarium at Bass Pro Shop ... Youuuuuuu might be a redneck.
If you're all really quiet and you open your windows right now, you just might hear Jeff Foxworthy cackling like a madman.
UGA Savage Pads (@savagepads) ~ Bubba not taking the Playoff loss well. 😂😂😂
Don't laugh, UGA Savage - he's yer future quarterback!
2BallRootSolution (@Tofty17) ~ Greatest headline ever!
We Alabamians aim to please.
Pet Rock (@PetRock52649629) ~ I'm only surprised it took this long.
To be honest, so are we.
ny (@NeanderthalYank) ~
Brynn Legree (@legreebrynn2) ~ Normal day in Alabama. LOL!
OKAY ... yeah. It's not like we're highly soFISHticated here.
Savs Zax (@NRBamabro) ~ Well if you’re gonna do it, go all in right?! 😂
It's the most e-fish-ent way to make national headlines.
Jackhawk 9000 (@Skunky_Dro) ~ Not the kind of dangle they are trying to sell you.
Disclaimer: No fish were harmed in the making of this article, but there was at least one very sore Bama Man.
Roll Tide, y'all. Let minnow what you think in the comments!
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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