... because of all the Georgia reprobates moving to Alabama and acting up in a conspiratorial attempt to make "Alabama Man" look worse than "Florida Man"!!!
First it was the "Bass Pro Shop Fish Tank Guy," and now it is the "Urn Guy."
'You URNed It': Young Alabama Man Steals the Spotlight From Bass Pro Shop Man
http://twitchy.com/laura-w/2024/01/09/boy-gets-stuck-in-urn-n2391521
Alabama is really stepping up their game for 2024, and we are not talking about football. First, we brought you the gloriously hilarious story of a man who decided to go skinny dipping in the Bass Pro Shop fish tank (and managed to knock himself unconscious after taunting police).
Now, we Alabamians introduce to you Connor Padgett, who told Bass Pro Guy to hold his Maker's on the rocks and watch THIS.
AL.com (@aldotcom) ~ “I am doing everything I f----- can. Goddamit!” Connor Padgett screams in a now viral video. “I already took my belt off, and that didn’t do s---.”
Man stuck in urn at Mountain Brook party loses pants, breaks expensive vase and Alabama Internet:
http://www.al.com/news/2024/01/man-stuck-in-urn-at-mountain-brook-party-loses-pants-breaks-expensive-vase-and-alabama-internet.html
It truly is the story that keeps on giving. Definitely give the video a watch!
Another Twitter/X account by the name of 'Casual Thursday' graced us with a thread documenting the entire incident, and it is as spectacular as you could ever want.
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) ~ We have a man stuck in a decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. I repeat, we have a drunk man stuck in a large decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. Details as they develop.
Mountain Brook is one of the richest areas of Birmingham, which makes this so much funnier. What is better than an angry little rich boy, drunk, and stuck in a jar?
Here is the play-by-play of the whole thing:
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) ~ He was laughing at first but now he’s starting to get upset. The women are trying to comfort him. There is talk of attempting to break the urn.
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) ~ The host has dispatched a friend to retrieve his sledge hammer.
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) ~ There’s a cracking sound and the crowd cheers. He is free! The urn has been shattered and our hero emerges unscathed. Our long national nightmare is over.
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) ~ Urn guy is up and moving around, but now without his pants, which were apparently lost or damaged in the incident. (Everyone seems fine with this) He wants a cigarette.
HE. LOST. HIS. PANTS.
Yeah, so ... king ribit hangs around without pants on all the time.
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) ~ Looks like a friend is trying to usher him into an Uber. Happy New Year everyone. Stay safe out there. Remember, decorative urns always look bigger from the outside.
But WAIT, there's more!
Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) ~ AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE SENT ME MORE VIDEO OF CONNOR STUCK IN THE URN AND GETTING CHISELED OUT. I REPEAT: MORE OF CONNOR STUCK IN THE URN.
Video ~ http://twitter.com/i/status/1744204158545084920
I don't know ... Kristi seems a lil' overly excited with "No Pants Connor."
Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) ~ Oh my god, this is the whitest shit I’ve ever seen.
Video ~ http://twitter.com/i/status/1744069914527248657
"Whitest shit"???
Apparently there is also a photo, but alas, he is wearing pants.
Thank goodness Connor found his pants!
Ole Miss — National Champions (@PharmacistReb) ~
Connor in 2023 stuck in a decorative urn: Surviving
Connor in 2024 with a double Makers on the rocks, urn-less: THRIVING
Y'all, it really doesn't get much better than this. This is quality entertainment to kickstart 2024, and all brought to you by the Yellowhammer State. From this Alabama native to you, you are welcome!
Cucker Tarlson (@sloppy_steaks) ~ We’re only one week into 2024 and Birmingham, AL continues to be the star ...
Christina MS, CSCS (@Christina_M57) ~ Alabama friends, I'm really gonna need y'all to chill TF out.
We most certainly will NOT. We're having a blast down here, can't you tell?
Electronzap (@electronzap) ~ That's why you always use lube. Or else you may never be able to pull out.
Oh my.
T Casey (@up_kinch) ~ "We're hardly a week into the New Year and Birmingham, Alabama is off to the best start of all time."
Very proud of my city!
We do what we can. At least our shenanigans help this writer urn a living!
Connor Padgett (@conniep_) ~ The true star of the night. He chiseled my fat ass out of this.
Here's to a whole new year of one-upping Florida Man! Roll Tide!
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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