"My wife suggests that she's better than me, sometimes stressing that *I* have a problem with it. But I don't see her hanging out with any tranny friends either."
With all due respect and admiration for your wife ...
... and even though I do not know her other than from posts on this board, I AM forced to admire the woman since she has put up with you for all these years ...
... "transgenderism" is an illness. And as such, it needs to be addressed with professional care in hopes that the sufferer will get better and recover. It is not a condition to be accepted simply because the sufferers and their enablers will throw a childish, awkward hissy fit. We should not accept psychosis as normal behavior - it is a departure from reality.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence