Awww c'mon, yer majesty ... you know damn well dat thang ain't gonna do squat fer Stacey! It might give her a tickle or two, but da jaws on dat thang ain't even gonna make it around a pimple on dat gargantuan azz. Within seconds, yer gonna have to go back to the ol' tried-and-true method of ... uh ... "stimulatin'" her ...
Eventually, you'll end up havin' to graduate to this ...
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence