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What to Expect if You Snag That New Wonder Flu

By: De_Composed in GRITZ | Recommend this post (0)
Wed, 12 Feb 25 11:40 PM | 22 view(s)
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Whatever the article's author caught is nasty. Assuming it wasn't food poisoning, it's probably highly contagious and may well be a flu. Odds are good that one or more of us will come down with it in the next few months.

Except for C, D and zinc to bolster immune systems, I don't know what magic vitamins to recommend. BUT, I strongly recommend you folks get some iodine and distilled water and be prepared to shoot them up your nostrils with a Neti pot. At the first sign of throat or nasal problems, you should do this twice a day.

The size of an initial infection varies wildly, from a viral or bacterial load of "just" a few hundred pathogens to tens of millions. They reproduce and spread incredibly fast, so you want to hit them early and hard while they're still in your nose or esophagus, hopefully reducing their numbers by a bit while your immune system ramps up. If you can keep the infection small early on, you've got a better chance of coming through it without much trouble.

That's the theory, anyway. I've had Covid-19 twice and dealt with it this way twice. They were the two mildest "colds" I've ever had. While I don't know if the Neti pot, or vitamins, or luck, were the reason, the approach I've described is logical and I recommend it for the early treatment of any sinus/esophageal infection.

If it turns out that a flu is circulating, take it seriously. All flus are NASTY. They can and do sometimes kill people our age.



February 12, 2025

What to Expect if You Snag That New Wonder Flu, From Someone Who Almost Survived It

by Kevin Downey Jr.
PJmedia.com


One of the downsides of making a living with a microphone is that no one cleans them. Comedy clubs have dozens of comedians on their stages every month. It is easy for a microphone to quickly rack up a body count that would impress Mia Khalifa.

I always point this out on stage to an audience just before I lick it repeatedly like an ice cream cone to prove to the crowd I am done living in fear of COVID, which I did at a show on February 1. People laughed and yet were repulsed at the same time. Hilarity ensued. I got my check and left.

I didn't think twice about it until 48 hours later when I was hit with a virus so brutal that I think I heard it laugh when I begged it to kill me.

What did I have? A new COVID strain fresh off the boat from Wuhan? The dreaded bird flu? I have no idea. But here is what to expect if you go licking microphones for an easy shock-laugh.

Thirty-six hours after my Saturday show, I felt something growing in my throat. I knew then I had a bug — I get them every year — and I assumed I'd have a three-day flu as per usual. It was Monday night, and I went to bed around 11 p.m.

Tuesday: I woke up at 3:30 a.m., covered in sweat from the worst fever I have felt as an adult. The sheet was soaked with sweat, and my mind was burning up. I felt like Satan's urinal. Sleep wasn't possible.

When my fevers get bad, I hallucinate. This fever brought me a blue brick wall extending from my bed to the ceiling. It didn't move; it was just a wall. When I came back from the bathroom, which I did a lot, ahem, the wall was still there. That's when my mom stopped by and sat atop it.
FACT-O-RAMA! Suffice it to say you will need a lot of toilet paper until you will need none. After that, you will need a lot again. That is all I will say. You're welcome.
I haven't seen my mother since her funeral in 2016, so you can imagine my surprise and why I questioned the timing of her visit. Was this the end? I asked her if I should pack a bag. She didn't say a word. She just sat on the wall judging me a moron for licking a microphone. Oh good, the silent treatment from my dead mom as I lay writhing in a feverish sweat. I hope that comedy check clears.

Though the various symptoms you are about to read about will come and go, you can expect to feel that icky, sick feeling 24/7. It is a combination of weakness, nausea, and self-disgust as you realize how much your own body can hate you. Standing up will make you feel dizzy.

This fever, sweat, and phantom blue wall of voodoo stayed with me until roughly 9 p.m. Tuesday. Fortunately, I recorded my Tuesday radio program on Monday before the fever set in. I could not stand up for more than a few minutes all of Tuesday, the first day of the onslaught.

I snagged a few minutes of sleep when possible, but I wouldn't have an actual night of quality sleep for seven more days.

You will come down with a cough that sounds like your lungs are full of demons who enjoy squatting in your body and will screech like harpies as you try to evict them. This cough will come and go. When you think it's over, it's not. It is waiting for you to walk past a school, so it can scare young kids. You will cough until you almost vomit, and the sound will terrify you. Pro-tip: stop licking microphones.

Wednesday: You can expect fairly severe muscle aches. Not the usual pain one feels with a normal flu, but something more akin to an internal punishment meted out by a tiny flu-Nazi wielding a thousand tin whips upon muscles you didn't know you had.
FACT-O-RAMA! You will likely not want to eat or drink, but I can't tell you how important it is to constantly consume fluids lest you get dehydrated to the point you snag yourself a kidney stone. I recommend a combination of water, ginger ale, and Gatorade. When you think you've had enough liquids, you haven't.
Thursday: One of the bonuses of this new devil flu is the extreme stomach cramps. I sincerely thought I had a kidney stone. The pain is so bad that, even when the fever, insomnia, and nausea take a smoke break, the stomach cramps kick in and make sure you can't sleep. I timed them at three cramps per minute, on and off, for four days.

I recorded Friday's radio show as I struggled with nausea, weakness, and a fleeting voice.

Friday: My voice was gone. My hair was filthy. I felt like a zombie and likely smelled like their outhouse.

All of the symptoms had slightly weakened, but in their desire to kill me, they took turns resurging to their original zest one by one, kind of like I felt with COVID. The fever gathered reinforcements and once again forced me back to bed. The stomach cramps went into overdrive.

The one symptom that stays the whole time is a feeling of total weakness, which increases every day since you aren't sleeping. Standing was difficult.

I had nothing to do until Monday, so I stayed in bed and threw myself at the mercy of the devil virus having its way with my body.

Saturday and Sunday: I stayed in bed. Slowly, the symptoms began to fade. Even the resurgences weren't as bad as they'd been just days earlier.

Today is Tuesday, February 11, day number eight for me. The fever comes and goes. The stomach cramps are no longer causing me to double over. I actually thought for the first time in a while that I might live long enough to need that old 401K of mine after all. I had my first shower since Thursday morning. Mmmmm water...

What did I take during over a week of agony? Advice from others who have been down this brutal trail before me.

If you come down with this monstrosity, I recommend the following:

• The aforementioned combination of water, ginger ale, and Gatorade. Lots of each.

• Zinc, Theraflu (Tamiflu, if you can get an Rx, which I could not get, as I didn't want to leave my bed). Mucinex and cough syrup are your friends. They won't stop the symptoms, but they will make them a little less painful.

Is there a silver lining to all this? The only "lining" involved is that which is in your stomach, and you will involuntarily surrender it by day two. That said, I think I lost a couple of pounds.

Stay healthy and avoid microphones.

http://pjmedia.com/kevindowneyjr/2025/02/11/what-to-expect-if-you-snag-that-new-wonder-flu-from-someone-who-almost-survived-it-n4936887


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