What's wrong with tits?! As George Carlin said ...
"And 'tits' doesn't even belong on the list, y'know? Man!
That's such a friendly sounding word.
It sounds like a nickname, right? 'Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey! Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.'
It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. But I don't mean your sexist snack! I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. 'Betcha Can't Eat Just One!'
That's true. I usually switch off."