March 13, 2025
Track & Field Runner Accidentally Trips, Punches, Attacks Rival With A Sword
by BabylonBee.com
LYNCHBURG, VA — This week's championship 4x200-meter relay event ended in disaster when a runner accidentally, tripped, punched, and attacked her rival with a sword.
The incident took place on the final turn, as Alaina Engle seemingly assaulted fellow athlete Kaelyn Taylor as she pulled even with her. Engle said following the race that it was unintentional.
"It was just an accident. I probably shouldn't have been running with a sword that day," Engle said. "Now everyone's mad at me and they think I did it on purpose just because I brought a sword to a relay race."
Engle claimed her hand slipped, leading her to involuntarily trip Taylor, strike her multiple times with her fist, and hack away at her with her sword.
The crowd of spectators was too stunned to intervene, wondering where a runner had gotten a sword from anyway. Engle was quick to apologize for the accident and attempted to explain how it happened.
"This kind of thing just happens sometimes in sports," Engle explained in a tearful interview following the incident. "We were both vying for position. I accidentally thrust my leg in front of her feet and unintentionally unleashed several blows to her face with my fists before I lost my balance and fell onto her with my sword. It's not fair for people to judge me because of this one incident."
At publishing time, the school said it was looking into a report that Engle had accidentally given a reporter a German suplex and smashed his face in with a steel chair.
http://babylonbee.com/news/track--field-runner-accidentally-trips-punches-attacks-rival-with-a-sword
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