Just For Fun: Robby Starbuck Discovers Evil Device That Removes the Need for All Men in Society
http://twitchy.com/grateful-calvin/2025/03/16/just-for-fun-robby-starbuck-discovers-evil-device-that-removes-the-need-for-all-men-in-society-n2409879
Men, what can we say? We've had a good run. It had to come to a crashing end sometime. And it's no surprise that our ultimate demise would come at the hands of dastardly technology.
Yesterday on Twitter, Robby Starbuck -- who usually occupies his time exposing and ending DEI in corporate C-Suites -- unveiled a diabolical new device that will, once and for all, remove the need for men throughout society.
What could this evil machination be? Have a look for yourself and understand that the death knell of masculinity ('toxic' or otherwise) has finally arrived like some rough beast, its hour come 'round at last, that has been slouching towards Bethlehem to be born.
Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) ~ I think I speak for all men when I say that this evil device needs to be banned and incinerated. 😤
Video ~ http://twitter.com/i/status/1900931921753907643
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
As every man (and woman) knows, our sole civilizational purpose is to open jars for our wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and lady friends. If sinister robotic technology has removed that purpose, we all might as well just walk straight into the sea with weights strapped to our ankles.
Just ask noted man and jar-opener Matt Walsh at the end of his movie, What Is A Woman?
America First ( @magaman28 ) ~ Uh oh, @AlissaWalsh21 ...
Video ~ http://twitter.com/i/status/1900986932282192362
Walsh's wife Alyssa even saw the fiendish appliance and posed the inevitable question to her husband:
Alissa Walsh (@AlissaWalsh21) ~ Matt, what is a woman? Does this get rid of the need for a man, @MattWalshBlog?
To date, Walsh has not responded to the question. Probably because he is too busy writing out his will and preparing for ritual seppuku.
Other men tried to be futilely defiant of our impending doom.
Mark Brown (@brownmp) ~ We will not be replaced!
Mike Lee (@BasedMikeLee) ~ What’s next, a device that kills spiders? We must not be rendered irrelevant!
Well, gosh, Senator. Thanks a pantload for giving them even more ideas. If a spider elimination robot is put on the market tomorrow, we might as well just disappear immediately.
And now we'll know who to blame.
Perhaps not all is lost just yet, though. One woman pointed out that there is still one thing that the unholy instrument cannot do.
Chrissie Mayr (@ChrissieMayr) ~ I don’t like this one bit. It can’t give you a satisfied smirk afterwards.
Trust us. They're working on that as we speak.
Whoever the shadowy 'they' are. We can't be sure, but we're betting one of the infernal architects is none other than pregnant 'man' Bill Gates.
Andrew No Time to Aspire 2: The ReThinking (@ThinkerAspiring) ~ Once women figure out how to kill cockroaches, it's over boys.
Shhhh. DON'T TELL THEM!
It was always just a matter of time, however. Machinery has been removing the need for men in other parts of society for decades.
Dr. StormyWaters (@NormanDodd_knew) ~ Why is everyone freaking out about this? It’s not like they don’t already have a whole nightstand full of battery-operated man replacement devices. Right next to the yankee hill candles and antidepressants.
E=MC HAMMERTIME (@scs_real) ~ Pretty soon they'll be making devices so women can orgasm themselves.
Uhhh ... ahem ... moving on, then.
Imagine a force so malicious that it would want to erase one of the Internet's most touching memories of all time.
Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) ~ I refuse to be replaced ...
Video ~ http://twitter.com/i/status/1900946254693326906
Only a true monster wouldn't want to give that dad his moment in the sun.
On our final march toward inevitable obsolescence, though, maybe we can at least exact some revenge against the cruel authors of our extinction.
Jonathan Newburg (@realjohnnewburg) ~ As a man, my job should not be taken away! We need to start a petition. 🤣
Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) ~ Yes and so help me if anyone posts a link to buy this thing in my replies, they’re getting blocked and the comment will definitely be hidden. 😂
Hiding replies is a good start, but we need to go further.
American Made Mischief Apparel (@AmericanMSCHF) ~ Fellas, this changes everything. We're gonna need each other now more than ever. Once the wives find out, divorce papers will come down like rain.
Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) ~ We must band together to shut down the factory.
Pitchforks and torches! Storm the Bastille!
Malcolm FleX ( @Malcolm_fleX48 ) ~ Eradicate this and jail the person who thought of making this.
Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) ~ DEATH PENALTY!
There we go. Now we're talking.
Sadly, the genie is out of the ketchup bottle ... thanks to a robot. Pandora's pickle jar has been wrenched agape by demonic mechanical hands.
Eventually, we must just accept the inevitable.
Kenji (@RonYamauchi) ~ OMG, there goes my wife’s reason for keeping me!
Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) ~ This device feels like a grim reaper reaching out to shake hands.
The bleak specter of inexorable ruination is upon us, men. Our dark fate awaits us.
Unless ... what ... what if we put all of the jars in the kitchen on the top shelf?
Huzzah! Salvation! We will be needed once more!
Wait. No one has invented the step stool yet, right? ... Right?
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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