http://babylonbee.com/news/federal-judge-orders-price-of-eggs-to-go-back-up
The Babylon Bee
March 18, 2025
U.S. — Egg prices are finally on the decline for the first time since 2022, but one federal judge has put a stop to that with an injunction requiring egg prices to go back up.
"It's the court's position that egg prices must return to their previous elevated levels," District Judge Sandra Milo ruled. "Lower egg prices cause people to think President Trump is doing a good job, and that is a threat to our democracy. Therefore, egg prices must immediately go back up to their absurdly high levels. That's what the law clearly states."
"I am a federal judge, and I have spoken," she added.
Experts are warning that while the case is appealed by the Trump Administration, egg prices could climb to over $50 per dozen. "We urge consumers to acquire eggs now," said one economist, "before another judge mandates the prices must climb even higher."
News organizations were quick to cover the skyrocketing egg prices, which they then blamed on Trump.
At publishing time, the judge had also ruled that keeping your own chickens to save on eggs was unconstitutional.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
| 
