http://twitchy.com/samj/2025/03/27/ninja-swords-to-be-banned-in-uk-no-were-not-joking-n2410543
Lil' Keir is OH SO PROUD OF HIMSELF!

The British PM is such an unserious buffoon.
We seriously thought this was a joke at first.
A parody.
No way this is real; it has to be some ribbing or practical joke from our pals across the pond, yes?
But ... it's not.
Prime Minister Keir Starmer is bragging about banning ninja swords in the UK starting this summer.
Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) ~ Knife crime is at epidemic levels and is ruining lives across Britain. As Prime Minister, I'll crack down on sales of these lethal weapons once and for all. When I announce a ban, you’ll get a ban.
http://thesun.co.uk/news/politics/25463767/ninja-swords-would-be-banned-under-labour/
Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) ~ Confirmed: Ninja swords will be banned by this summer. When we promise action we take it.
Awww, Starmer ... you simpleton ... "ninja swords" aren't the problem ... blades, long and short, have been omnipresent in Britain for CENTURIES. The problem is that you dumbf*cks willingly imported hundreds of thousands of uncivilized mooslims into your country and they are going on a raping and knifing rampage, which you don't care to stop because you're terrified of possibly offending mooslim feelings and being called a bigot. Grow some balls and defend your society and its citizens against this very existential threat of culturally oriented criminality, you pussy!
We got nothin'. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
Who ARE these people?
Prison Mitch (@MidnightMitch) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer}

Hollaria Briden, Esq. (@HollyBriden) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} So I can still visit with mine until summer?
Absolutely.

Storm (@stormrobinson) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} Be sure to ban flails next. Then all your problems will be solved.

You can never be too cautious you know.
Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} This is beyond parody.
Magills (@magills_) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} Thank you for finally taking on the scourge of the highly trained Japanese immigrants that have violently invaded your island.

Shew! We were super worried about all of those highly trained Japanese immigrants running around with their fancy-schmancy ninja swords.
Wasson Watch Co. (@WassonWatch) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} British ninjas, right now ...

Aelfred The Great (@aelfred_D) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} The Foot Clan does not take this lightly, Prime Minister. You have made a powerful enemy this day.
Indeed, they have.
Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) ~ {Replying to @Keir_Starmer} If you tried this s*** in America ...

There's a reason we decided to STOP being part of their country nearly 250 years ago.
Just sayin'.

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence