The Imaginary World of the Republicans
Date: 6/22/2012
In the imaginary world of the Republicans, Bush wasn't President when the economy collapsed. In fact, going back to the same Bush policies is exactly what we need in order to have a strong economic recovery.
Banks do not need any additional regulation, because they will "self-regulate." After all, they are in the best position to understand the risks that they are undertaking. Furthermore, consolidation of the financial sector makes America more competitive. In a global economy, it is essential that American institutions have the scale required to compete with foreign entities which are larger. Even if this consolidation of finance presents systemic risk which cost American taxpayers hundreds of billions only a few years ago, and is still costing the Europeans hundreds of billions and has cost the Japanese hundreds of billions in propping up "zombie banks" it is still a good thing because of all the wealth it creates.
Mitt Romney is the best person to have as President because he knows a lot about wealth creation. He created so much for himself that he will do the same for the country. First, he was born right. That's important. He paid for his own college tuition at Harvard by selling shares in companies that he owned. What a great capitalist! Already owned shares in companies when he was 18. That is a great lesson in how to create jobs.
Anyway, never mind that he didn't create a lot of jobs at Bain Capital or when he was Governor of Massachusetts. He actually did create a lot of jobs, but they were offset by a lot of job losses. We don't count the job losses because that is creative destruction and that is a good thing, except when it happens when Obama is Presdient. Then all the job losses are his fault and it is a miracle that any job gains occur because he's a socialist. Obama, that is. Even though 750,000 public sector jobs have been cut since he became President.
But, Mitt is the man, because he wants to cut even more public sector jobs. He wants to get rid of Medicare and trim Social Security and that will set the private sector free. Mitt also wants to cut his own taxes by another 20% because all the tax cuts the wealthy have received over the past 30 years have not worked enough to motivate them to create jobs.
Because that is how it happens. If rich people get rich enough, they get bored with buying mega-yachts and islands and eventually there is nothing else to do but create jobs. Because they are the productive class and job creators, just like Bush was the Decider, but the recession wasn't his fault. The market could see into the future that Obama was going to be President and it crashed in anticipation of all the bad socialist things that would occur.
And Obama really was born in Kenya and is a Muslim America hater.
The guys who actually killed Osama Bin Laden were Republicans and they got their information from torturing people. But enhanced interrogation isn't torture.
And Obama wants rape victims to have access to the day-after pill and medical treatment on tax dollars. That's why he's a murderer. Except when he killed Osama Bin Laden, which he didn't. That was the Republicans who did that. Besides Obama did it all wrong.
Where were we? Oh yeah, the banks. See, they need to make billions in order to have capital flow. They make the money with zero % interest from the Fed and then they go and buy foreign bonds and stuff at high leverage in a trade where it is almost impossible to lose most of the time. So, while they are making billions, it is only right that they pay their traders 8-figure salaries which they get to claim as "carried interest" and pay a 15% tax rate. If they couldn't do that, then they couldn't attract the top talent to make these trades at such high leverage. Except when the trades go bad and the traders lose more than they ever made for the bank. Then it is only right that the taxpayers support this critical industry.
But only some industries are critical. Banking is clearly one of them because the institutions have become so large they present systemic risk. And oil.
But not clean energy because it is all a pipe dream, too expensive, and global warming is a hoax. It's proven that it is a hoax. There were some guys in England writing emails talking about "tricks" with their data and therefore the thousands of scientists are all in a giant hoax together which is designed to bring about world socialism.
And Obama is a socialist and socialism is bad, except when Ronald Reagan added 1.5 million public sector jobs. Then it was the Reagan Revolution because all those people were Christian Capitalists.
Willard 2012! And Mormons are Christians too, except not really, but they are better than Kenyan Muslims.
sf, & a hat tip to Hochizen.
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